Animal crackers: making progress on The Penguin's Progress

The vast majority of academic articles, according to eminent literary critic John Sutherland, read like they're written by robots in a Japanese car factory. And that a Toyota-style recall is sorely needed. This statement may or may not be true, but many scholars would surely concede that remedial writing measures are necessary. This paper describes one such measure, an illustrated novel that's similar to Shrek, only with advertising characters like the Michelin Man instead of fairytale characters like the Gingerbread Man. After an apt introductory anecdote, the rationale for The Penguin's Progress is explained, the difficulties surrounding its creation are itemised, and an extract from the work-in-progress is presented.